First things first, I'm no longer on a religious high. In fact, I'm a little hungover. At first, I was hesitant to follow up this blog post. Ya know? The whole courage thing. I thought I should be careful with how often I provoke deep thought to others and myself. In depth thought can be a dangerous and sensitive subject. Back to the follow up, my post religous high has been a confusing time. I can comfortably say I've been nicer and made some better decisions. But, that process has been a curse and a blessing. As I try to make myself a "better" person, I am constantly recognizing my own "flaws" while my mind runs crazy about the "flaws" of everyone else. I use the quotation marks for emphasis, but mainly for the purpose of not having a better word or phrase to describe what I am trying to say. Because, honestly, who decides what is good? God? Morality? Societal Trends? I'm not sure. I don't have many answers, only an inumerable amount of questions. Thus, I'm stuck in an awkward mind set these days. I bounce back and forth. Sometimes I take on the typical persona of a senior in high school who is concerned with exams, friends, girls, drinking beers.. and then sometimes I like to think about the big picture. That's where it gets messy. The meaning of life? The universe? Why people act certain ways (including myself)? Religion? Love? And many more. While I was proof reading this post, I realized that I used a lot of question marks. That's a pretty accurate portrayal of this blog post, just a lot of questions.
So that segment was about me, here's the part about other people. Lately, I am constantly analyzing people's actions. And that's funny because I said I was going to write about other people and then the very next sentence was about myself. #selfcenteredproblems. Anyways, this part is intended to be a slightly humorous critique about human nature. I'm hoping many of you, under the arrogant assumption that "many" will read this, can relate.
THINGS PEOPLE DO:
1) Girls consistently use some form of "just got of the shower, you?" when responding to some form of "what's up" or "what're you doing" via text message. Girls play dumb when I've asked them about it, but they all do it.
2) Guys consistently altering stories to make it sound like they weren't very interested in a girl. (Guilty)
3) Random, but I'm going to say it. Guys, why do we say we would f*** the shit out of a girl? I understand the gist of it. But seriously.. that would be a horrific experience.
4) Tell the truth when drunk, and ignore it in the morning. (One of my personal favorites)
5) Talk badly about anyone and everyone, including friends.
6) Abuse the word love.
7) Creep on facebook.
8) Hide emotions out of fear.
9) Disappoint.
10) Stop telling a story, talk louder, or start telling it to someone else, when you realize nobody is listening. Sometimes just stop mid sentence and try to bounce back next time.
11) (This may only apply to Cincinnatians) say "the best is/was"
That's all for today. Again, you know where to find me if you're trying to life chat, vent, reflect, confront me about something I did or said to you that was unfavorable. Hit me up.
@ConnorMoulden
513-608-5506
conmo12@gmail.com
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Truth is..
First things first, yes, I am on what people call a retreat high. I'm choosing to take advantage of it and write all of this down before I lose the courage to do so. It's 7:14 on Saturday night. Wow, I'm usually a few beers deep by now. I'm going to start by listing a few apologies.
1) If you are a person who I have ever made fun of, belittled, laughed at, I'm sorry, you don't deserve that. I only do it because it makes me feel better about myself, typical cliche about bullies right? If you fall under that category of people, I am very sorry even though you don't think I am.
2) If you are a girl who I have been involved with (God knows there is more than just a couple out there) or tried to be involved with, I'm sorry. I have treated every single one of you terribly, some worse than others. I am sorry for degrading you whether it be emotionally, sexually, or mentally. You don't deserve that. I'm sorry if I convinced you to do something you didn't want to do or even if you wanted to. What ever happened between us probably didn't end well. And yes, you should be reading this thinking it's bullshit. It's not.
3) If you are a person who I have influenced to make a bad decision, I'm sorry. God granted me with the ability to influence a lot of people and I have used that poorly. I pray that you and I both can make better decisions from now on.
4) If you are a person who doesn't even know me, I hope that you get to know me. I want to be your friend. I want to share what God has given me.
5) If you consider yourself a friend of mine, I hope that you can encourage me to be a better person every day. There will be many more mistakes to come in my life, help me to make them less severe.
Back to the writing, I hope everyone fell into a category. If you didn't, pursue me. I want to be friends with you. I want to change the world, starting with anyone who gets to read this. Many of you probably realize that I have not spoken like this in my 18 years of living. That's because I haven't. I lived 18 years for myself, pursuing and attaining many of the pleasures that this world has to offer. I have been fortunate enough to experience some terrible things in these 18 years. I use the word fortunate because it has all lead me to this desk chair typing on this computer. I have been lucky enough to have my eyes opened at a young age. And, sometimes that only can come through terrible experiences. I've always said, and just said a few sentences before, that I want to change the world. I thought that required wealth or fame. Turns out it only requires the truth. That's what I intend to spread. Some of you may not be ready for it. Some of you are ready for it, but don't have the courage. Some of you have already found it. And, there will be times that I run away from it out of fear or peer pressure. I am far from perfect, but be reassured that I am trying hard to live the rest of my life better. For anyone who wants to talk to me, I'm at 513-608-5506, conmo12@gmail.com, Connor Moulden on Facebook, and @ConnorMoulden on twitter.
This took a lot of courage for me to write, but Nelson Mandela said this about courage (so did Timo Cruz from Coach Carter)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Let this be my light, giving you all permission to be your true selves.
1) If you are a person who I have ever made fun of, belittled, laughed at, I'm sorry, you don't deserve that. I only do it because it makes me feel better about myself, typical cliche about bullies right? If you fall under that category of people, I am very sorry even though you don't think I am.
2) If you are a girl who I have been involved with (God knows there is more than just a couple out there) or tried to be involved with, I'm sorry. I have treated every single one of you terribly, some worse than others. I am sorry for degrading you whether it be emotionally, sexually, or mentally. You don't deserve that. I'm sorry if I convinced you to do something you didn't want to do or even if you wanted to. What ever happened between us probably didn't end well. And yes, you should be reading this thinking it's bullshit. It's not.
3) If you are a person who I have influenced to make a bad decision, I'm sorry. God granted me with the ability to influence a lot of people and I have used that poorly. I pray that you and I both can make better decisions from now on.
4) If you are a person who doesn't even know me, I hope that you get to know me. I want to be your friend. I want to share what God has given me.
5) If you consider yourself a friend of mine, I hope that you can encourage me to be a better person every day. There will be many more mistakes to come in my life, help me to make them less severe.
Back to the writing, I hope everyone fell into a category. If you didn't, pursue me. I want to be friends with you. I want to change the world, starting with anyone who gets to read this. Many of you probably realize that I have not spoken like this in my 18 years of living. That's because I haven't. I lived 18 years for myself, pursuing and attaining many of the pleasures that this world has to offer. I have been fortunate enough to experience some terrible things in these 18 years. I use the word fortunate because it has all lead me to this desk chair typing on this computer. I have been lucky enough to have my eyes opened at a young age. And, sometimes that only can come through terrible experiences. I've always said, and just said a few sentences before, that I want to change the world. I thought that required wealth or fame. Turns out it only requires the truth. That's what I intend to spread. Some of you may not be ready for it. Some of you are ready for it, but don't have the courage. Some of you have already found it. And, there will be times that I run away from it out of fear or peer pressure. I am far from perfect, but be reassured that I am trying hard to live the rest of my life better. For anyone who wants to talk to me, I'm at 513-608-5506, conmo12@gmail.com, Connor Moulden on Facebook, and @ConnorMoulden on twitter.
This took a lot of courage for me to write, but Nelson Mandela said this about courage (so did Timo Cruz from Coach Carter)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Let this be my light, giving you all permission to be your true selves.
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